Confessions of a Pastor
You’re probably not like me, but…
Compassion, patience, and kindness are some real biggies in the Christian world when you think about Godly love; but for me, they are a struggle. Since being born-again, I have prayed for these Holy Spirit attributes to be manifested in my life; because I knew without a doubt that I lacked them (Galatians 5:22-26).
Oh sure, I can put on my best “phone voice” when dealing with strangers, but the true intent of my heart is revealed around those I claim to care the most about (Mark 7:14-23). They see my frustration, anger, and callousness; and many times it’s directed at them. How can this be? How can a blood-bought believer act this way? Well, it’s easier than you think (Jeremiah 17:9).
Wrong biblical thinking allows me to suppress the Holy Spirit’s work in my life (1 Thessalonians 5:19); and though I pray for these righteous characteristics to be present and abound (2 Peter 1:2-11), I fail to make proper preparation. These Spirit filled fruits will never come to be if I do not prepare the ground for growth (Luke 8:4-15).
I recognize that the following 3 things must take place for me to overcome this obstacle, so that God’s love can freely flow through me (1 Corinthians 11:28; Galatians 6:3-4; 2 Corinthians 10:12).
1. Humility – Frustration sets up when I feel that I am being hindered from doing a task that I feel is more valuable than what is presently taking up my time, instead of just experiencing the moment and seeing God at work. My work and my plans are not more important than God’s (James 1:2-4, 4:1-10); and it will always be hard for me to hear from God when I think I have it all figured out (James 4:13-17).
2. Focus – By nature (flesh), I am a pessimist. The glass is always half empty. I look for the worst case scenario and plan for it, and if it doesn’t get as bad as I thought – great!; but if it does, I want to be ready. The problem with this is, that it keeps me from the joy that my supernatural nature (spirit) is supposed to enjoy through God’s redemptive work on Calvary. God did not give me the spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7); in fact, He tells me that I am more than a conqueror through Him (Romans 8:37-39). God knows I struggle with seeing the bright side of things, so He encouraged me to have a new focus (Philippians 4:8); therefore, I have to be intentional with my thought life (2 Corinthians 10:3-5).
3. Grace – I have been (and still am to a large degree) a boot-strap pulling, do-it-myself, kind of person. That can be handy at times; unless of course you need to train others, rely on others, or could use God’s grace. When Jesus says that I can do nothing apart from Him (John 15:5), I probably should take the hint. When I read Romans 7, I get the feeling that the Apostle Paul struggled with trying to live this Christian life on his own without the power of God’s grace as well; and he realized it was impossible. We have often heard “let go and let God”, but that sounds scary; especially to a stubborn, prideful, know-it-all like me. I will never fulfill my God given mission without God’s grace; and if my desire is to truly bring glory to His name, I must learn to trust Him in every situation (Hebrews 11:6; Romans 8:8; Philippians 4:11-13).
Yeah, you’re probably not like me; but if there is 1 who is, maybe my confession and realization will be a help. Reading God’s word helps me to be aware of where I lack maturity (Hebrews 4:12); and with the Lord’s help, He will transform me into the person He wants me to be (Philippians 1:6; Romans 12:2; Romans 4:17).
I must never forget: “That for Him to increase, I must decrease” (John 3:30; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10; Matthew 16:21-27)
May God bless you richly as you seek to glorify God with your life,
Pastor Mike